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Taboo No More

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a fathers journey [20 Dec 2010|11:02pm]

(Please know that this isn't a plug so much as its a reminder that people out there are trying to help us brake the stigma and find support.)

My name is Kristen and my sister is schizophrenic. I suffer from bipolar and PTSD, my brother from anxiety and PTSD and both of my parents from depression. Mental illness runs deep in my family.

My dad is currently running across country (the USA) trying to break the stigma and raise awareness and funds for mental health research. Because so few people want to talk about it as an issue, he has had a great deal of trouble getting this known. Look into it, he's trying to help us all.


please, pass this information forward, whether to friend, family member, neighbors or someone and anyone who could use a reminder that people are out there doing their best to help,  it could make a world of difference.

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Meet-up Shout Out [10 Dec 2010|11:39pm]
So it's on! We're expecting a small group. Great for a cozy feeling and honest sharing. See you at 11.30am at Starbucks @ Cathay today. I'll be wearing a red top and my number's __________. Don't be shy!
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Dusty [15 Nov 2010|08:34pm]


It's been a long while, more than a year in fact. My blog here has collected dust, and I've been swept into a different world.
Somehow stumbled upon it just a while ago, and reading the posts on sg mentalhealth and the comments to my previous posts somehow made me feel like I'm back in a place where I'm understood; where equally strong people fight the pains of mental illness daily.
I would really want to be more active in my blog.

Hope all of you are doing awesome! :)

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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Our club meet-up is on! [10 Nov 2010|10:26am]

Those of you in Singapore, are you in favour of a year-end community gathering? Since we're in the same boat, I figure we can learn more about each other's path and trade life stories. The last meet-up was almost a year ago. I know it may be daunting to meet 5 or 6 strangers(average turnout) and chat over coffee, but let's just chill. We can talk about anything under the sun. We'll have good, clean fun, I promise. Bring a friend if you like.

The location: Starbucks at Cathay (nearest mrt: Dhoby Ghaut) (Any quieter Starbucks in town you can think of?)

Let's vote for our preferred time to meet:

1) 24 Nov Wed, from 4.30pm
2) 27 Nov Sat, from 11.30am
3) 3 Dec Fri, from 4.30pm

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Android "MoodTracker" App [07 Nov 2010|11:00pm]

 It maybe a useful app for this community. You record ur mood based on a slider bar (eg. Happy ---- Sad). After logging your moods over a period of time, you could go through the mood charts with your therapist. Adding of notes to each mood log is possible.


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One of those days.... [06 Nov 2010|02:32am]
Today is really 1 of those days when I really feel like jumping off a bldg....a feeling which I've not had for a v long time already, the feeling which I thought I've 'recovered' from ever since I started seeing my psychatrist last year, a notion which seems so blissful if I have the courage to carry it out...

I felt I've been 'lying' to my doc...not that I did it on purpose, just that it's just in my character to always put up a smiling happy cheerful front no matter who I meet. I think in a way I've not been truthful to her; when she asks me at every session how I'm doing I'll always reply 'ok', when actually all I wanted to do is to think of a 'perfect' way to die, a way which will guarantee a painless but sure death yet also doesn't appear as a suicide.

Have you ever felt so helpless & lonely, such that although you're in a room full of ppl whom u know, u still feel as if the world has stopped revolving....as if everyone around u is a stranger to u, as if u're sufforcating??
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new member! [04 Nov 2010|11:21pm]
 Hi all,

I came across this group via google. I'm so glad that a group such as this exists for Singaporeans dealing with mental illnesses to offer one another encouragement, help and support. It sucks to be alone, especially when one has to with both mental illness and the stigma from others. I skimmed through the group's postings. I feel really encouraged by everyone's strength in trying to come to grips with their illnesses and doing what they can to improve their lives. 

I've suffered from OCD since I was like 16 (am 30 this year). I'm getting better, thanks to the advances in internet technology that has allowed me to skype with a trained OCD therapist in the US. Before that, I relied on mainly self-help books, which helped, to some extent. Unfortunately, there isn't anyone in Singapore who really knows how to treat OCD. Anyway, is there anyone else with OCD out there? Would love to know more OCD-sufferers. I know how lonely this condition can make one feel. 

Take care, everyone! :)

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One small change [03 Nov 2010|08:35am]
One small change
Put $2 into a box each time you find yourself complaining
about (everyday) things that cannot be changed, or are out of your control.

At the end of the day, count the money and reflect. Journal if you like.
Then do whatever you want with the money.

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One small change for today [02 Nov 2010|01:04pm]

One small change.

Accept any feelings you've been avoiding. Make peace with yourself.

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good news [25 Sep 2010|11:09am]
My therapist complimented me on my hard work in therapy, and for my containment outside of therapy. Containment means the ability to NOT act out, not engage in theatrics, and also to avoid crises. I blushed. Accepting compliments is hard for me.

Does my repeating the compliment amount to gloating? No, said Dr G. One can be stay humble and yet be proud of his/her achievements. I know I still have a long way to go.

We've had so many breakthroughs in therapy this year. Somehow I know one day I'll walk out of therapy, solid and stronger than ever.

How've you been doing? What's new on your side?
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How to tell if you're on track [08 Sep 2010|09:00am]
From a consumer's perspective:

"One mistake some clients make is to think that therapist confrontation or the experience of uncomfortable or negative feelings constitutes bad therapy. If such a situation occurs in an abusive context, it does. Therapy, however, is not about giving advice or making people feel good; it as about the client learning to live life in a more functional way and it often involves experiencing painful feelings. For some people, it is about learning to feel for the first time. Sometimes, therapists have to share observations or insights with a client that the client may not really want to hear, but that is part of what constitutes good therapy."
--From the chapter "Treatment Philosophies and Approaches", Dissociative Identity Disorder (Deborah Bray Haddock)

P/S: Lighten up. It's okay to be not okay.
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Caring for Your Parts of Self [02 Sep 2010|10:06am]
"Once you're diagnosed as having dissociative identity disorder it can take a while before you eventually come to realize that you're "head of household" in a family full of strangers who all share the same body and mind - yours. You might find yourself asking, "Who are these people? This is crazy...what am I going to do"? Whatever you do, don't look at yourself as being a mere fragment of a person. Every single one of these "strangers" is just a part of you, only magnified and separated from your conscious awareness. Hopefully the following information will help to give you some ideas on how you can begin to take care of yourself, including these pieces of consciousness that make up your mind. By stabilizing your inner system of fragmented memories and feelings - split from your consciousness - you will enable yourself to live a more functional life."
excerpt from The Art of Survival--Caring for Your Parts of Self, Joanna Doane
Full article here, useful to all who've felt 'split' at one time or another: http://www.help4trauma.org/caring.html

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Trick yourself back to real time [14 Aug 2010|08:44pm]
If you slip into a dissociative state every now and then, how do you beat the fog? How long before you realize that you've lost track of time?The sharing in this post is based on my personal experience, and I'm not repping a medical viewpoint, so pick what helps you and discard the rest. Should you be dissociating right now, check back again when you're feeling more settled.

1. As convenient as it is, don't google for help on dissociation while you're in the midst of it. The deluge of disagreeable information out there doesn't suit our state of mind. And the more symptoms we read about, the more conscious we are of our internal haze. It might also be tempting to self-diagnose. The key here, I feel, is staying focused and grounded.

2. Personally, meditative walking has been useful. I try to devote a narrow focus on my pace and take regular breaths to counter the accompanying anxiety. I keep an inner running commentary on my every action. Like this: I'm walking towards the bus-stop now. My pace is neither fast nor slow. I'm looking straight ahead. My right hand is reaching for my E-Z link card. I know where I'm going. 3 more stops. I'm going to alight soon. I'm on a bus to work. I see other commuters on the bus. I will call a friend as soon as possible.

3. I have a cue card with my personal particulars for really bad days when I can't get the parts of me to function collectively. During peaceful times, I practise referring discreetly to the cheat sheet (password prompts, emergency phone numbers, etc) which I have with me at all times. It's important, as with #2, to practise before a dissociative episode. Consider it as prepping our minds for tougher times. You'd want to cope as best as you can without people noticing/staring/gawking. Direct your awareness to yourself, but do not shut out people who are concerned about you.

Dissociation is a broad spectrum condition. It can be mild to very serious. You know what you really have. I hope you'll be in touch with reality the bulk of the time, and manage your symptoms as they come. We can overcome.
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paying it forward [13 Aug 2010|10:48am]
A book is available to be 'released'. With no strings attached, meet me to pick up the book, then pass it on to someone who appreciates it. Let's share our resources and trade mental health/wellness books.

Manic by Terri Cheney

"Manic is both harrowing yet hopeful, and does not simply explain manic depression--it takes us in its grasp and does not let go."

I can drop off the book at any mrt station. Send me a direct message via LJ if interested. Thanks!
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new alter [21 Jul 2010|04:45pm]
Hi. Recently the therapist and I discovered a new alter personality. (I've DID/MPD.) Don't get us wrong, she's been part of the internal system all along. But she's usually not the one who shows up for our sessions. In a way, it's good news to acknowledge her and perhaps try to be whole.

What's new with you?
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Looking for a psychotherapist [07 Jul 2010|12:46am]

Hi. I'm looking for a psychotherapist. I hope, through him/her, I could talk about my unhappiness, be more open and loving. The patient-therapist relationship requires mutual trust, thus I wonder if there is any recommendation from the people in this community? Any help is appreciated  : ) .
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[10 Jun 2010|11:16pm]

Hello, I'm canisdomesticus and I just joined the comm. I'm a psychotic depressive with GAD and social anxiety. Not much else to say, but the rules say to post an intro.
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ECT [06 Jun 2010|07:53pm]

Has anyone here tried it before? Did you lose your memory?
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p.d. [19 May 2010|05:54pm]
If you've been in treatment for personality disorder(s), was your experience with doctors/therapists beneficial? And if you care to share, which treatment facility has been helpful to you?


We wish to be whole and alive-in-one-piece. The struggle for many of us is ongoing. What has helped you to stay positive so far? For me, it's my imagination that helps me make sense of what's happening. What else helps, you think?
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[02 Apr 2010|11:08am]
During my session this week my psych put across an interesting hypothesis: that I might be having repressed thoughts. I mean, people probably have repressed feelings from time to time, but thoughts?

I guess she came to the conclusion because it's a little peculiar in my case - that I experience emotions but feel a sense of disconnection to them. Not in the "I don't deserve to be happy and therefore I shall distance myself from the emotion" way [to give an example], but rather...that I don't own the feeling. I say this because I have no idea why I feel the way I feel rather often, and when I question this emotion I am not able to find the relating thought to it [at least on a conscious level]. Put simply it's like this: I might be feeling sad, but have absolutely no way of explaining why I am. And it's not as if I consciously avoid any emotions. In fact, I'm happy in a weird way in one of the rare instances in which I actually understand how I feel.

I'm wondering about how this might work out, though. Are we considering this only because it's easier to give a name to it? We've [meaning the psych and myself] acknowledged that I think quite a fair bit - sometimes far too much for my own good. And I'm not somebody who avoids thinking about something just because it might be "painful". What then, could be repressed?


On an unrelated aside I'm also having problems grounding myself in reality - again, this sense of disconnection from whatever's going on around me. I try to ground myself by observing the settings and reminding myself where I am and what I am supposed to do, but it doesn't really seem to work. Any suggestions?
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